The Nightmare

4 11 2009

Saturday morning, I drove five hours to visit my little sister in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She was flying my little brother in for the weekend and I took all three of my dogs, in addition to the five people and two dogs they have at the house. It was a good kind of chaos. Lots of dog fur flying. Lots of smores eaten.

It was Halloween weekend, and the last night of this amazing production called, “The Nightmare” that her church, GUTS puts on every October. I have NEVER seen anything akin to this before. The production value was incredible, very realistic. It really makes you look at life and people a lot differently.

I have always been a little embarassed to talk to people about God.

Mostly because I felt like it weakened me, I wanted to be cool and talking about God is inherently uncool. I have this wonderful friend, wherever we went she would ask people if they wanted prayer. Seriously embarassing. I remember this one time we were at Walmart in the checkout line and this guy with a blue mowhawk was working the register and she asked him if he needed prayer for anything. He said he didn’t believe in that stuff, but if it worked we could pray for his mom because she was seriously depressed and always on the couch and didn’t care about life anymore. He actually teared up and she prayed for him right there in the checkout line with people in back of us waiting. He gave her a HUG afterwards and thanked her profusely. It was insane.

We left Walmart and it didn’t even phase her, it was like, business as usual. I was aghast and blurted out, “How do you do that? How come you don’t care what people think about you? How can you just talk to anybody about that?” She looked at me, carefully thinking. “I don’t know,” she said “I guess when I see people, I just picture them in hell with no other choice and it being too late.”

I think about that often. Most of the time when I am being too damn chicken to talk to somebody who is clearly hurting and needs hope. Her faith was unstoppable. It is my goal to be more like that. Offering hope to a world that is lacking, offering comfort to a world that is in pain. That is why I so desperately want to heal, so I can be effective. So people want the peace that I have and see God working in my life. I know the only way to get that is to give myself totally over to the control of God. But my faith is so limited and I falter so often. When will I realize how big God is and how temporal life is?

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